The Facts - TAYLOR MAYS FACTS presented by TrojanWire.com

Taylor Mays was in an IED blast. The IED subsequently received a purple heart.

Posted by Brad on Oct 13, 2009 under facts

Usain Bolt flat out refused to race Taylor Mays for fear of embarassment.

Posted by Brad on Oct 06, 2009 under facts

The book of Psalms has been ordered changed by God himself to read; Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil for thy Taylor Mays shall light that ass up if you get near me.

Posted by Brad on Oct 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays took a dump. It sacked Jimmy Clausen.

Posted by Rory on Sep 18, 2009 under facts

Just like El Guapo, Taylor Mays has a plethora of pinatas.

Posted by Brad on Sep 17, 2009 under facts

Kanye West once tried to interrupt Taylor Mays. He then went on to produce his song Flashing Lights after Taylor lit his ass up.

Posted by Brad on Sep 16, 2009 under facts

Who would win in a fight between God and Taylor Mays? HA! It's a trick question. Taylor Mays is God!

Posted by Brad on Sep 14, 2009 under facts

Opposing players are encouraged not drive or operate heavy machinery after playing USC. Hits from Taylor Mays may cause headaches, nausea, vomiting, disorientation, pains and impaired vision. Basically Taylor Mays FUCKS YOU UP!

Posted by Brad on Sep 03, 2009 under facts

Former WWF wrestlers Ravishing Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect and Bam Bam Bigelow did not die of a drug overdoses. They made the mistake of getting in the ring with Taylor Mays.

Posted by Brad on Sep 03, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is bigger than the Verizon network.. Can you hear me now?

Posted by Brad on Sep 03, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays once went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac...he got one.

Posted by Rory on Aug 28, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays never pops his collar. His shirt naturally gets an erection from touching his body.

Posted by Rory on Aug 28, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents

Posted by Brad on Aug 28, 2009 under facts

Fear is not the only emotion Taylor Mays can sense. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a hit by Taylor Mays going across the middle."

Posted by Brad on Aug 28, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is so fast, he can run around the world and tackle himself from behind.

Posted by Brad on Aug 26, 2009 under facts

When Taylor Mays does push ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.

Posted by Brad on Aug 26, 2009 under facts

Global Warming is not due to CO2 emissions, it is a direct result of Taylor Mays energy release on fearful WR's and RB's invading his space.

Posted by Brad on Aug 14, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays eyes employ the same AN/APG-77 radar as found in the F-22 Raptor. This allows Mays to engage multiple targets simultaneously, while maintaining full control over target selection and elimination.

Posted by Brad on Aug 14, 2009 under facts

When Taylor Mays tries to walk on water, the water gets scared and evaporates.

Posted by Brad on Aug 14, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is the Fall Guy's stunt man.

Posted by Brad on Aug 08, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays does not read the newspaper, internet, nor Sportscneter - He MAKES the news!

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is the most pursued man in California. His Poon-Train knows no end!

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays recently finished his community service project at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) as the magnets were down again. Only Taylor Mays speed can smash protons. HE KNOWS ANTIMATTER!

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays just finalized a contract allowing US Steel to schematically duplicate his stiff-arm as the new & improved I-Beam.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays taught John Wayne how to strut.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays has never experienced a 'Failure to Communicate!'

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is fluent in as many languages that may be required. IF that is not sufficient, he will provide Physical Evangelism to cover the gap!

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays was the original spokesman for Chrysler's "Cordoba." However, he was busy, and asked Ricardo Montalbon to step in for him. Taylor Mays also took the Cordoba on its maiden voyage on a NASCAR track in '80.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Life doesn't give Taylor Mays lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Credit: Jalen Sowell, Los Angeles

Taylor Mays - rolls with the - "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" call-sign.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays in fact, wrote Purple Haze! He also deals in it exclusively on Saturday afternoons every fall season.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays = pi (3.14159265. . . . .) - exactly - not approximately.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is gonna take Mason Storm to the bank. To the blood bank!

Posted by Brad on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Approximately 60% of Pac-10 redshirt wide receivers are already injured due to a hit they will receive from Taylor Mays in the future.

Posted by Rory on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays bought Che Guevara his first beret.

Posted by Brad on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays taught Fidel Castro how to smoke cigars.

Posted by Brad on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

On the Zero-eth day Taylor Mays created God, and saw that it was good.

Posted by Brad on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays traveled back in time and was going to tackle Vince Young at the goal line in the Rose Bowl. But he realized Young was so mentally-fragile it would have killed him. So he let the baby have its bottle.

Posted by Kyle on Aug 06, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays has a recipe for the worlds greatest meatloaf.

Posted by Brad on Aug 04, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is the cat pajamas.

Posted by Brad on Aug 04, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays plays a mean jazz flute.

Posted by Brad on Aug 04, 2009

Taylor Mays always has two tickets to the gun show.

Posted by Brad on Aug 04, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays has a voice that makes a wolverine purr.

Posted by Brad on Aug 03, 2009 under facts

The force runs strong in Taylor Mays.

Posted by Brad on Aug 03, 2009 under facts

The chief export of Taylor Mays is PAIN.

Posted by Brad on Aug 03, 2009 under facts

EXTRA EXTRA: Taylor Mays revealed to be Superman, Batman, Aquaman, and Flash, all simultaneously while still finding time to service Wonder Woman.

Posted by Brad on Aug 03, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays could never learn the laws of physics. They would limit his abilities.

Posted by Brad on Aug 03, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays knows when to hold 'em. He knows when to fold 'em. He knows when to walk away. But he only runs when he's coming to kill you. You've been warned.

Posted by Kyle on Aug 03, 2009 under facts

If you ever need help changing a tire call Taylor Mays. He jacks shit up.

Posted by Brad on Jul 31, 2009 under facts

The only reason Tim Tebow is a virgin is because he hasn't played USC. Taylor Mays would deflower him on the gridiron.

Posted by Kyle on Jul 31, 2009 under facts

Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck's mustaches think Taylor Mays is badass.

Posted by Brad on Jul 31, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays wins the Cannonball Run every year, car-less.

Posted by Brad on Jul 31, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays works in carpentry in his spare time. He brings the wood.

Posted by Brad on Jul 31, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays has constant diarrhea. Even his crap tries to run away from him.

Posted by Kyle on Jul 31, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays hit Pizza Hut so hard it became The Hut.

Posted by Kyle on Jul 30, 2009 under facts

They made a movie about Taylor Mays epic stand against the armies of Xerxes. Only in this one, the hero didn't die in the end. They called it 1.

Posted by Brad on Jul 30, 2009 under facts

He-Man doesn’t have the power. Taylor Mays has the power.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays can order a Shamrock shake year-round.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays has never lost a game of Roshambo.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays breaks stones with sticks.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays goes on riverboat gambling trips and makes his own beef jerky.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays helmet and shoulder pads are registered as deadly weapons in every state except Florida. Taylor Mays does not recognize America’s wang.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

When Taylor Mays makes eye contact with Medusa, she turns to stone.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Chlorofluorocarbons and Carbon Tetrachlorides didn't deplete the Ozone Layer. Taylor Mays depletes the Ozone Layer because he likes warm weather.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays only plays at ludicrous speed.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays eats a coconut the same way he eats an apple.

Posted by Brad on Jul 29, 2009 under facts

Bleach makes Taylor Mays clothes brighter.

Posted by Brad on Jul 28, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays only comes in one size, SUPER SIZED.

Posted by Brad on Jul 28, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays doesn’t use dimmers, he only lights shit up.

Posted by Brad on Jul 28, 2009 under facts

Expiration dates need not apply for Taylor Mays.

Posted by Brad on Jul 28, 2009 under facts

The Devil wears Prada, Taylor Mays wears Cardinal and Gold.

Posted by Brad on Jul 28, 2009 under facts

To relax, Taylor Mays takes mud baths in quicksand.

Posted by Brad on Jul 28, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays makes Bolo ties look stylish.

Posted by Brad on Jul 28, 2009 under facts

Unlike Walter Sobchak, Taylor Mays rolls on Shomer shabbos.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

No one ever died on episodes of the A-Team because of Taylor Mays.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is not afraid to break up a monkey knife fight. Nothing scares Taylor Mays.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

Charles aint in charge. Taylor Mays is in charge.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays hits so hard he can change a Zebra's stripes.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

Through concentration, Taylor Mays can raise and lower his cholesterol at will.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

How would Taylor Mays describe himself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer…merciless…insatiable…

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays used to bulls-eye womp rats in his T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

California is in a drought because Taylor Mays is really thirsty.

Posted by Brad on Jul 27, 2009 under facts

They expanded the ceilings of the 901 Bar & Club so Taylor Mays could fit inside.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays pity the fool that tries to go across the middle on him.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays has only one prediction for opposing teams this year, PAIN!

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

Cats do not have cat-like reflexes. They have Taylor Mays-like reflexes.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

Carl from Rosemead thinks that throwing a pass to Taylor Mays side of the field is the worst idea since showing up to a party with a boner in sweatpants.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

The Hamburglar tried to steal Taylor Mays cheeseburger once. Taylor Mays ate the Hamburglar.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is kind of a big deal. People know him. He has many leather-bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

Bo knows Football. Bo knows Baseball. Bo knows not to fuck with Taylor Mays.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

There can only be one HIGHLANDER and that is Taylor Mays. So suck it Sean Connery and Connor MacLeod.

Posted by Brad on Jul 24, 2009 under facts

The flux capacitor did not send Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown's DeLorean back to the future, Taylor Mays did when he crushed that WR from Penn State at the Rose Bowl and accidentally opened a wormhole.

Posted by Brad on Jul 23, 2009 under facts

When Milk gets thirsty it drinks Taylor Mays for strong bones, muscle rebuilding, calcium, vitamin D, and other nutrients.

Posted by Brad on Jul 23, 2009 under facts

The Sears Tower used to be the tallest structure in the United States, until Taylor Mays learned how to stand.

Posted by Brad on Jul 23, 2009 under facts

If you saw Gremlins, then you know the most important Taylor Mays rule of all, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never, NEVER feed Taylor Mays after midnight, or catastrophic events will ensue.

Posted by Brad on Jul 23, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays taught Paul Bunyan how to lay lumber.

Posted by Brad on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

A bear did not eat grizzly bear activist Timothy Treadwill (aka Grizzly Man). Taylor Mays ate Timothy Treadwill.

Posted by Brad on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

The cologne "Sex Panther" by Odeon is not made with bits of real panther. It is made with bits of real Taylor Mays. And 60% of the time it works, every time.

Posted by Brad on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

When Michael Jackson dangled his baby Blanket over the top floor railing of his hotel, he did not do it because he was crazy. He did it because Taylor Mays was standing below. Taylor Mays catches everything.

Posted by Brad on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

At his grammar school science fair Taylor Mays invented the first Hybrid car. It doesn't run on electricity. It runs on his awesomeness. No keys are necessary, Mays just needs to be sitting in the drivers seat.

Posted by Brad on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

There is a reason you don't hear about Bird Flu or SARS anymore. The reason is Taylor Mays. Swine Flu your fucking next.

Posted by Brad on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

If Mays grew a salt and pepper beard, he would become the most interesting man in the world.

Posted by Rory on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays has a 12 inch dong -- after he deals with the shrinkage brought on by a swim in the icy waters of the Arctic Circle. Science is still working on a way to accurately measure Mays' under normal conditions.

Posted by Rory on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays stayed in school. Somehow he still beat everyone on draft day.

Posted by Rory on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays doesn't need steroids. Steroids need Taylor Mays.

Posted by Rory on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays is half jewish. At his bar mitzvah, he memorized the Torah sub 4.3 seconds.

Posted by Rory on Jul 22, 2009 under facts

Taylor Mays walked to Westwood once — just to learn what shit smelled like.

Posted by Rory on Jul 22, 2009 under facts